Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Bandwagon Advertising Approach

Let’s be honest, we all have good cause to feel a little low these days

Melodrama 1Oh woe. Oh misery. Oh lackaday. Ah me. 

See what I mean?                            Laughing Guy

I’ll hand you over to our expert of the matter.

FaustusThank you. Whereas in the societal state in which the large vocalised majority of the population live in a status from in, a world view can be described as comfortable, there is an urge to experience from a safe distance (in this case the written word, or performed work) acts of violence, misfortune, tragedy and the triumph of evil over good. This socio-thrill seeking would have had a cathartic benefit as the emotions experienced would move the person out of the self induced torpor  of relative complacency. However due to recent evidence of the pandemic and severe political turbulence, the level of the distress caused by the fear of actual personal harm has exponentially increased.

Impatient fellow

Yeah…Howdja feel about really gettin’ a big smack in the mouth instead of reading about or watching some poor shmuck gettin’ one? 

FaustusSuccinctly put sir. It can therefore be demonstrated that there is now an inherent need for a substantial number of individuals to experience the positive emotions in the traditional formats of Good over Evil, Harmless Humour, The individuals at the lower end of the social scale triumphing through hard work, loyalty and a sense of selflessness and of course a measure of Romance. However as the current world for the induvial is in a state of turbulence in which such imagery might jar, to place the narrative in a Fantasy Setting with its sense of detachment is a suitable location, in which the person can experience both positive emotions and harmless conjecture of this extraordinary non-threatening setting. As the actual demonstration of these circumstances are not my forte I will hand you over to someone more versed in the process….    

enthusiastic

It’s a great little book, I’m telling you. Three independent young women end up carrying out a battle against evil forces, in their own unique ways. There’s banter. There’s friendship. There’s bonding. There’s contradicting and defying authority. There’s getting the better of professional villains. There’s the beating up of evil guys. There’s bravery. There’s determination. There’s humour. There are frank discussions. There’s romance. There’s an up-beat ending! Yeah!!! 

Annnnndddd it’s called?……………………….Not just me then.

Wives and lovers woman clothedHey, Burbles! Yeah, you in the hipster hoops. You forget to mention the title, guy…. Never mind…I’ll do it. You like go and sit down and drink water…No caffeine. Right?…… Now those of you on justifiablyconfused.com this the source of all the preceding fuss ‘n feathers

Of Patchwork Warriors  

It’s on Amazon Kindle. Naahh I’m not giving you a link. Y’ go to Amazon and select Kindle and type it all in. How hard can that be for Pity’s Sake? Oh, yeah, like I read it. It’s alright, y’know. Kinda mash-up, few thrills, few laughs, girls getting The Task done, bit of rewarding R & R afterwards, you get the drift?. If nothing else it’s bound to annoy various  stick retained rectum types from all sides, which is a good thing. OK, that’s me done, dividing walls don’t demolish themselves folks.

Yesssss. Well she would like it wouldn’t she?…………. Yeah Ms Blue Collar Appeal

furtive-1Ooooooh I think she might have heard that. Quick cut to the funnies.

Inspiration

Lighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon and buy this happy tale.

Oh we read it. We read it!! Lighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon and buy this happy tale

Electra in PortraitHey! That’s catchy! Gee that cheers me up to no end. Hey sisters and brothers, let’s hear it! 

Lighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon and buy this happy tale

 

plato Now that’s what I call Ironic .Social Networking

O-M-G….Have you heard about this new book!

Gossip0803

Lighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon to buy this happy tale

worried-manI take it, that is just a cartoon, otherwise the image is quite…wrong.

Arketre On The Prowl screenshot (5)I think it’s what you folks call allegorical. Y’know a comment on the way your social media works.

worried-man (2)

 

Oh Arketre Beritt!…. How nice to meet you…. Err I would like to apologise on the behalf of the writer for all of this. He would be here, but he’s hiding under a kitchen table

Arketre On The Prowl screenshot

Yeah… That’s where we usually have to go to find him. Anyway, don’ y’all worry none about the marketin’. Not your personal fault. It’ll all work out, somehow. Be seein’ y’all.

 

What luck. We were here for that special guest star appearance! Lighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon and buy this happy tale!

CoriolanusLighten up you day. Cease your dirge and wail. Away unto Amazon and buy this happy tale

Writer 3

But Marcie. Wait I love ya! Marry me!!

1

Youse gonna ‘af ta wait Clyde, I gotta buy one of dem Kindles an’ get dat book everyone is talkin’ ’bout.

Laughing GuyYou got to admit folks…. That’s Marketing!! Pondering twoHmmm…even so 

Of Patchwork Warriors ……. or………..Pile of books

Pondering one

Ending on a cliff-hanger eh? It’s an old ploy, but it could work.

 

 

 

 

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach 

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Good Ol’ Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles -The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Advertising (Emotional Appeal ploy) Approach

Advertisement

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Advertising (Emotional Appeal ploy) Approach

Hey man. Wow!…….There’s Stuff                 Please I do not want to know about Stuff

What sort of…. ‘Stuff’? Oh like book………………………………….. Stuff

Pompus Oh…that means reading. I can’t be bothered. I shall wait until a suitably prestigious literary critic writes a review before I form an opinion on this….Stuff    

Impatient fellow

If they don’t come clean about what this…..’Stuff’ is. There will be some Big Smacks in The Mouth….Stuff.

haughty response 2

Please do not be vexed so. It’s simply a book about three young women cast into an adventure in a Fantasy realm. They bond, they hit lots of villains and beasts, and kill some in the process, they bond further, grow in stature and survive having saved some part of the world. Those fellows are all trying to avoid being caught out making inadvertently controversial comments, and thus shamed, cancelled or whatever else worries people on the internet. Me, I’m independently wealthy, in a small way, have no idea how to work Twotter or Instagrum and being of late middle age can still remember the pre-computer days….So I don’t care. Now if you excuse me I have to go and ask my wife how to work Voice-Hale.

I’m still gonna give one of those jerks a Biggggg slap inna mouth……… But not me. I don’t know nothin’ !! I’m just in charge of stationary requirements (and the coffee machine)

How dreadfully and chaotically vulgar, also one has to say a trifle obscure. If everyone simply purchased a copy of this volume and opted not to comment on any very common social media site, then we would be spared these most undignified situations. It only costs 0.99 as well. Seems the obvious solution, if you ask me.

worried-manActually he has a good point; for a while there I was worried we were heading for a pastiche of  in play in the style of The Theatre of the Absurd.

writer-2Well, I’m fearfully glad I have a copy, and it’s perfectly readable on my all-weather Kindle, (with the model 6/10 Alpha Stylus)

Pondering one This whole thing may be working, someone bought a copy on the 20th Feb. 3 whole copies to date. Hmmmmm

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Good O Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Focus Group Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Focus Group Approach

Happy Dance 1goofy-girls-printsHappy

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprisedOk I’ve visited this screwy site before. What the hell is going on now?

Idiot man 2Oh fair maid. Have you not heard the gladsome news? Copies of Of Patchwork Warriors have been sold (ed). And that is the Marketing Team doing their celebratory dance.

Plot Image 1

Sales! It’s time to organise a Focus Group for the next Marketing Campaign

Barker 2It’s being organised! Get a chance to air your views on an issue of The Day…Step this way folks. Step this way 

Freinds Romans Countrymen

Melodrama…Layyyydeeez and Gentle-MEN. You are asked(ed) to discuss THE weighty matter of this TOME before...you.

Of Patchwork Warriors….Available on Kindle…..

WHAT is YOUR general O…pin…nee-onn?

Puzzled expression…Ehhhh..It’s a book…And it’s ’bout three girls and it’s got lotsa words. Ders no pictures though. I thought if it wuz ’bout girls it should be a comic book, so we can see what they’s wearin’. Y’know.

famous-writers-of-the-victorian-era-1 Awww. I mean that’s like a load man! Y’know. I mean it’s all about the narrative, dude, which is basically an elevated intrinsic examination of the journey undertaken by the soul. I mean, like you don’t need pictures man. None of that postmodernism crap, neither. You know what I’m talkin’ about there man.

victorian-mens-costumes-2

Fearfully contrived if you ask me? What say you Carruthers?

Long John Silver

Contrived ye say? Do ye? Ye insult a fellow with a wooden leg would ye*? By the time I’m finished with ye. Ye’ll be only fit for Davy Jones’ cabin boys..Arr-Harrr!!

  • haughty response 2* This colourful fellow above is referencing Captain Dekyria…Arketre Beritt’s commander and mentor.

Sarcastic gifOh please! Like it’s a book whose central characters are women and you’ve got male yo-yos leading on Focus? Gimme a break.

Sinsiter WomenHearts of gold and inseparable friends. How very dull…..But they did massacre some men…..Yes but those were so second-rate villains, I mean talk about target practice.  

anger-clipart-rage-2Naw! It wuz irritating. All these women being clever and brave! It’s not like that in real life. You gotta wise up! It’s all wrong giving women all these role models roles! Ya…..

Wives and lovers woman clothed  It’s ok sisters I stuffed his head down the john and slammed the seat on his neck….he’ll be there for a while…..Carry on, girls.

SurfingYes…It’s quite nice…I think it’s a bit of a sleeper. Low-key marketing is the best ploy (I’m gonna steal the plot and get it up and out there! He knows ‘jack’ about social media networking,)

 

Of Patchwork Warriorsenthusiastic 2O-M-G!!

Wives and lovers woman clothedAnnddd lil’ Miss Clickbait is next.

RageWhy did the blonde haired one end up having the nick-name ‘Flaxi’. If it gets to be a best seller, it’s what all the jerks in the office are  going to start calling me.

Haughty response 4Yeah….Frankly……Like that’s gonna happen.

haughty responseDid you know about this?

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_Pro

 

 

No…And I was so happy with the two sales. 

Whimsey 1Fear not good sir…I shall sally forth with the news of this tome…..See how I do fly to the crowds….

Whimsey 1 otherwayOr were they this way?….

CromwellDissolvingLongParliamentWell thanks for your input folks….the Focus Group is now closed.

Wives and lovers woman clothedAnyone else you want me to use as a sink plunger?

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_ProAt your own discretion thank you. If anybody wants me I’ll be under the kitchen table.

fed_up_woman-620x412I warned him. Lord knows I’ve warned him. How many times, did I warn him. Don’t market.

BarkerCome, come m’dear. There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Oh by the way I seemed to have misplaced an associate of mine – here’s her picture enthusiastic 2

Wives and lovers woman clothedOh yeah….I saw her….. Asked me to pass a message on. She thinks Marketing and Publicity isn’t for her….She’s taking up a trade in plumbing.  

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

 

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Good Ol’ Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles -The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Scene: A street. First fellow enters from stage right, reading a Kindle. Second fellow enters stage left, not really looking where he is going. They collide. The following dialogue arose with two American males in mind but could be anywhere… (Chose your own location, dialect and colloquiums)

Second Fellow: Hey! Why don’t ya look where you’re going?

First Fellow: Looking at your mug, I don’t see the advantage in that policy! 

Two guys arguing

Second Fellow: Oh, a wise-mouth! What a pity it’s not connected to your brain.

First Fellow: Well I’m the one with the book…reading

Second Fellow: That don’t prove much. I got a five year old nephew who can read.

First Fellow: He must be of great help to you then!

Second Fellow: His conversation is certainly more interesting. So what’s the book about?

First Fellow: I can’t see the point in telling a guy like you about the contents of a book, but because I’m feeling generous- It’s a Fantasy Novel.

Second Fellow: Y’mean it’s about The Miami Dolphins winning the Superbowl?

First Fellow: It’s lucky for you I’m a New York Jets fan.

Second Fellow: Yeah. Lucky ’cause it an’t contagious.

First Fellow: I only hope whatever you got an’t catching. But to elaborate, this book is about these three girls….

Second Fellow: Oh…It’s that sort of Fantasy Book! I might have known. I can tell, the way you’re turning your head away in shame.

First Fellow: That an’t shame. That’s me looking for your mind in the gutter, which considering the smallness of the object, is a hard task!

Second Fellow: The only hard task I can see, is getting you to talk sense. At the risk of frying your brain, what is the plot?

First Fellow: Like I was saying. These three girls. Well they inadvertently have to battle evil powers, but they choose to ignore authority and do things their own way.

Second Fellow: Wow! That sounds like home. I have a wife and two teenage daughters.

First Fellow: Ha! You too. That’s why I was reading the book. I was looking for a solution to the dilemma.

Second Fellow: In my opinion; there an’t none. Gee no wonder we’re a pair of soreheads.

First Fellow: We should repair to the nearest bar and commiserate. To make things worse I gotta brother-in-law too.

Second Fellow: What an unhappy coincidence, so have I. I guess they call them ‘in-law’ because that’s the only way you tolerate them, it’s illegal not too. So what about the book?

The two fellows look at the cover, skimming the contents.

Of Patchwork Warriors

Second Fellow: Hey! Look at that part. That blonde soldier. Wow! Has she got notches on her belt.

First Fellow: I never say that coming. Must be what they call a sub-text. If the household saw this I would be in a lot of trouble. 

Second Fellow: An’t you afraid of being caught out?

First Fellow: Nah. It’s my brother-in-law’s Kindle.

Second Fellow: Now that’s sharp thinking. For that I’ll buy the first round!

The two men exit hands on shoulders chatting.

(Dedicated to Jimmy ‘Shnozer’ Durante; W.C. Fields and Groucho Marx; even though I don’t come close) 

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles-; The Good Ol; Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

 

 

 

Updating an Ebook is Harder than I Thought — Audrey Driscoll’s Blog

One of the good things about self-publishing in ebook form with Amazon KDP is you can correct typos and other errors easily. Make the changes in your base document, upload it to KDP, press Publish and you’re done, right? Yes and no. Readers who buy your book after you publish the corrected version will get […]

Updating an Ebook is Harder than I Thought — Audrey Driscoll’s Blog

Self-publishing Musings: Amazon Kindle- Free Book Promotion.

So, having completed 4th Edition of

Of Patchwork Warriors

And thus onto Kindle I opted for the ‘Five Days’ free promotion. It’s a reasonable move if you are self-publishing, it’s only for a short time and increases your chances of folk picking up your book – after all….. ……………………………….’Free’

Laughing Guy

I checked this morning to see the results and found 17 folk had opted to download, stream, or whatever. That was nice. This would be a combination of those who knew it was coming (thanks guys) and those who assiduously check out Amazon Kindle for what’s interesting in the Free option, and why not? if I wasn’t such a perpetually lazy reader I would, because it’s one of my go-to options on Audible Books and Comixology.   

If taking up the Kindle Self-Publishing path (Amazon like to elevate you to Independent Publishing; it sounds modestly corporate) and you do opt for the free promotion (any number from 1 to 5 days), bear in mind those who pick up the book on a whim. They have expressed an interest, and may well be voracious readers, however they may also have a  large collection of free books, which they have not quite got around to yet . I say this as one who had to list his Audible Books to listen to resulting from one pre-Christmas splurge of free and special offer audio books (£3 instead of £17.75…can’t miss that bargain!). And then set himself a serious programme of listening to all twenty of them. Take this into account if you are looking for reviews, that which was selected 2 years ago, may still not have been read. 

For the self-independent publishing writer Amazon Kindle and the Free promotion probably works best with the by now traditional long-term Raising The Coming Book profile on other networks so that your audience is anticipating the release and will be willing to pounce in useful numbers, then (you hope) are enthused to write reviews and so start the cycle. One benefit of which, maybe that those who seek those free books decide to move yours up the reading list and (hopefully) write a review.

Thus, the summary: a useful system but only to be used in conjunction with other marketing efforts. Free promotion by itself will not win the day, unless of course you happen to be on good terms with the goddess  Fortuna.