Marketing – A Cautionary Observation

On the subject. This afternoon I had this experience, there is no other way to describe the event. It was not a bad one, nor was it one which opened up a brightness which illuminated a pathway to a certain level of success. This was more of a certain type of epiphany, an enlightenment on the subject. Let me explain.

Firstly if one should type in Google ‘Marketing My Book’ in 0.70 seconds the dear old programme will proudly announce it has located ‘About’ 8,150,000,000 results, which suggests there are more items on the subject than there are people in the world: currently estimated at ‘About’ 7,874,965,825. Therefore using a certain skewed logic it could be fatuously argued that everyone on the planet has an opinion on how to Market A Book.

It must therefore be argued in the Writing process that Marketing and views on Marketing are topics of some importance; possibly second only to How To Write A Book ( Google records 14,360,000,000). And therefore a matter which should be taken with a degree of seriousness, maybe not as much as writing itself but certainly deserving of attention. Although I did encounter an advice pamphlet some years back and geared to the self-publishing sector which had the sub-heading ‘You’ve written your book. Now comes the hard part- Marketing’

Anyway on a personal level, making an effort to view the issue in a far more mature and constructive manner and having noticed an article on how to use Instagram to assist, it seemed only correct to consult this. I began to and was quickly drawn to a sub-topic of using hashtags as a means to promote your work. This was written in a confident, informative and intelligent style, obviously the writer had experience in using Instagram hashtags to further their own efforts and there was much which made sense; although I was struggling to make the necessary connection with advice and the intentions swirling about in my head. At this stage my attention should have been given to this lapse; the warning sign that my concentration was not correctly attuned. But onwards, ever onwards, maybe things would be clearer. Sadly this was not to be so.

There was a harmless enough suggestion on hashtags. This one revolved around the hairdressing industry and as an example for a hashtag which people could relate to used ‘hairstylemens, this was a example which was obviously well-founded and whereas may not be blindly used could be a good foundation or ‘food for thought’. Errr….not so.

You would have thought a 70 years old with several unsuccessful books would have stopped here and given the topic some thought in the hope of sales improvement. No, instead my eyes fell on the last six letters, flashed the signal back to the brain which promptly translated this hashtag into Hairsty Lemens and aside from the sniggering which would have been more in place with myself 55 years ago had me thinking how I could build a book around someone of this name, was ‘Hairsty’ a nick-name or their true first name and should it be pronounced as ‘Hair-sty’ or ‘Hair-stee’ ?

The sad point here is that whereas there may be some cause to celebrate the imagination of a febrile brain, such gyrations of perception do nothing to further the cause of making previous efforts known to the public. It is actually essential to adopt a serious and structured approach to some sort of Marketing, albeit in a ‘Garage Band’ sort of way, it would at least get you, maybe 4 figure sales. Therefore at what ever stage you are in your work consider some approach to Marketing, though be warned about those who claim to assist you professionally, there will be those genuine and hard-working folk who will do their best, for a fee of course, it’s a business after all; regrettably they work in a jungle replete with opportunists who talk a talk but have no intention of walking even one step of a walk. There is a great deal of free advice out there take it on board and invest some time in the processes.

Hairsty Lemens may be amusing company but they will not help you sell even one book.

Meanwhile on Kindle:


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5 Days of Marketing… Well, That Was Interesting

Firstly, there was nothing new in the option, process, call it what you will. Books uploaded on Kindle and as a Promotion Option select a number of days…Free. I’ve taken that pathway before and notched up maybe 10, 15 tops on each occasion, and no reviews, the latter is understandable, more about that later.

This time I decided ‘What The Heck’ and put the whole trilogy up as Free, to summarise for those new hereabouts:

Of Patchwork WarriorsSkirmishersthe-gilrs-in-yermetz-in-finality

The results were, to repeat……interesting. Now maybe it was the chance to snap up an entire trilogy for nothing or maybe it was the stunning art work on Vol 2 & 3 by Matthew David Sharpe See FaceBook or Odiousrule on Instagram. It certainly was not my haphazard, chaotic, sometimes barely visible Marketing stratagems. Anyway as of today 1st November 2021 at 08:54 GMT the totals are 2 sold and 110 taken up for free. Well that was different. I’m not certain of the breakdowns because neither figure divide into 3, and there are various permutations: Taking up the whole trilogy; opting for Volume 1 as a tester; taking Volume 2 and/or 3 to get the full set. Who knows?

Of course there always have to be perspectives on these matters. A noticeable take-up on a free offer, does not signify the beginnings of a writing success; you have to be practical and consider the paring down. Not everyone who picks up a free book will read it, not everyone who intends to read a book free or purchased gets around to reading it straight away; (I have five sitting in my Kindle and have given myself strict orders to read them, no excuses); not everyone who reads a book even if they like it finds time to rate or review; not everyone who takes the time to place a review is going to complete the book and the review within but two weeks and finally not everyone who breaches those previous ‘nots’ is going to be kind about the business. To name but three Brandon Sanderson, George R. R. Martin and Joe Abercrombie may get 5,000 to 15,000 ratings with 80% 5 star and many positive reviews but not everyone is at their standard or has that sort of following. Thus the sense of perspective is vital to avoid any crashing disappointments, just file the whole event in the ‘Interesting’ category and see if anything else comes of ‘The October 2021 Initiative’.  

This, therefore, is not a post of the sort which suggests ‘A Way’ . No, this is nothing more than one writer recording an event which was, and it cannot be stressed enough, …’interesting’ (in a modest way of course). I will of course follow the progress, what author wouldn’t? But will only report back my findings at the end of 2021. Did this ‘interesting’ pick up have any profitable (not in terms of monetary gain) results? Who knows?

Meanwhile back to reading, jotting down notes for a Space Opera SF, which may or may not see the light of day. As maybe writing up more on the trilogy of its own little blog 

The Precipice Dominions

It does need up-dating.

For those New Around Here or Simply Passing Through. Something about The ‘Precipice Dominions Trilogy’

Whereas I had tremendous fun with Marketing earlier on this year, it seemed more appropriate to be serious now that the full trilogy will be up and running in the next few days. Apologies to those who have read previous posts on the subject, this is for visitors and potential readers

The Precipice Dominions Currently available on Kindle. Free from 27th October to 31st October

The Gilrs in Yermetz in Finality Will be on Kindle in the coming week. (No thanks to Amazon’s unhelpful ‘error’ message on cover…sorted by human effort)…Free from 27th October to 31st October.

Overview

Fantasy. Not in the style of George R R Martin or Joe Abercrombie. By Fantasy standards- overall theme ‘Lite’ . Complex interplays, adventure, battles, some graphic violence, snatches of satire, some comic interludes, romance ( with adult themes). Warning for those who read Fantasy: overall up-beat theme throughout, to repeat you’ve been warned; don’t moan to me if you read them and don’t find them ‘gritty’ enough.

Introductions 

The trilogy charts the progress of three women caught up in a series of events which are part of the long history of The Oakhostian Empire; this has lasted not because of the iron grip of one family, or a dreaded back ground administration, but for the simple reason no one has come up with a workable alternative. There are agencies which keep the whole thing running with the usual smatterings of rivalries aided or sometimes encumbered by the composite of princedoms and city states. There is religion which at this stage is usually nodded to but generally not very influential in the ruling process.

What everyone does pay attention to is The Stommigheid or Ethereal or Astatheia, depending which agency or preference you work for. This is an elemental which manifests itself in various ways, physical, mental or spiritual by a combination of these it has given rise to Realms which are linked to The World Physical and thus can be utilised as a means of travel. Those who have managed to gain some deeper knowledge of this enigmatic manifestation appreciate no one has control over its potentials at best only having an accommodation; there is dispute over whether it influences people or the other way around. How or when this arrived upon The World no one is wholly sure of, there are records of great disruptions and the appearance of the demonic apparitions The Lords of The Land and the Lords of The Deeper; later The Lords of The Air, collectively called The Zerstorung.

Against this backdrop the three major characters move:

Trelli (later known as Trelyvana Waywanderer). Once satisfied to be a dutiful and responsible housemaid with an eye on becoming a Housekeeper to a general respectable merchant family. However thanks to the meddling in the The Stommigheid by the younger son Wigran, she has been inadvertently suffused with some of its abilities; the process and manifestation making her a source of interest amongst various folk. She has to struggle with keeping a perspective and responsibility with this ‘new gift’

Arketre Beritt  Initially a medician (medic) in the military  LifeGuard. A state within a state in The Oakhostian, charged with security and specific military actions. Beritt is chosen as part of a file (unit) charged with seeking out Trelli. Seemingly easy going, friendly and skilled at her task, Beritt has a mixed at times roguish past, while can be chillingly brutal against foes, either physically or mentally.

Karlyn Nahtinee Seeming to have originated from Elinid a city of dubious reputation and possessed of a peripatetic mind. Karlyn discourses with animals and plants, has a singular sense of smell and direction which includes the Stommigheid, a talent for arson and an acrobatic prowess. Despite all evidence to the contrary she is initially recruited by a Custodian (think Inquisitor) to seek out Trelli. At the onset her true background is a mystery, even to her.    

Volume One: Of Patchwork Warriors (As spoiler free as possible)

This introduces the three major characters and something of the world(s) they inhabit. Karlyn and Arketre as part of separate missions to find out ‘what is going’ in a port town (The ‘what’ being Trelli). The ‘what’ has attracted others. In the confusion it is Karlyn and Arketre who find themselves responsible for Trelli. They start to bond, Arketre begins to have doubts over handing Trelli over to her LifeGuard commanders. Karlyn, literally sniffs out other issues and leads the party off track on what she sees as more important a cause. In another realm they have their first conflict with The Zerstorung and an inefficient group known as The Obsidian Council.  It is here the three start to demonstrate their differing potentials . This volume also brings in other characters and groupings relevant to the whole narrative and sets the backdrop for complexities in the following volumes.

Volume Two: Our Skirmishers of Lace, Steel and Fire

In this volume more is written of Elinid and its crime family The Silcs, The LifeGuard, The Devoteds, the once legendary and assumed powerful race of The Shadow Lords and the Oakhostian. Karlyn learns more of her previous life, Arketre faces the conflicted demands of her medician training and her instinct to take on the harder role and demands of battle, Trelli’s relationship and skill with The Ethereal grows as she begins to appreciate the full and possibly dangerous potential.     

Following on from the events in ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’. Karlyn and Arketre are in the North East of the Oakhostian in the Princedom of Terasonia, content with being snatched there and have an opportunity to explore their love. However they are despatched by the LifeGuard to investigate a rebellion by the local Grand Dukes against their prince. Trelli is in the South under the care of  The Devoteds, an ambitious member Coltello  wishes to utilise Trelli’s abilities to ‘harvest’ a source of Ethereal in a nearby land. Through the bond the three had forged in the previous volume, their paths cross. Karlyn assisting Trelli, leaving Arketre to be the Officer on the Ground trying to broker between Prince and Grand Dukes. The situation is complicated by an incursion from the domain of a Shadow Lords Prince with ideas of starting his own empire. The theme of conflict is based on the history of many a seemingly superior force being bested by a local opposition familiar with the terrain, particularly when the sophisticated weaponry of the former is found wanting. Again there is the presence of the Zerstorung in manifold forms.

Volume Three: Daughters of Circumstances. Arbiters of Consequences.

This is the volume where the full potentials of the three women are realised in various and some unexpected ways. And here is the book blurb:

Nothing is simple in the aftermath of Our Skirmishers of Lace, Steel and Fire. Wars, conflicting agendas, calls to fealties. All these range across The Oakhostian empire and the Realms beyond the World Physical. Ever present the enigma known as The Ethereal, Stommigheid,  or Astatheia  is no one’s to control, though maybe the opposite is so.  As Officer of one small LifeGuard outpost Arketre Beritt’s initial attention is on the invasion of her jurisdiction, Valeneg, by neighbouring Krenderenberg’s opportunistic prince. Trelli, is drawn to investigating the  possibility of dangerous and nefarious activities by the Silc Clan in their home city of Elinid. Both women however are swept up by concerns of Karlyn Nahintee, spouse of the former, best friend of the latter and assumed to be of Custodian rank by most, she believes all troubles can be laid at the feet of one of the Zerstorung demonics The Lords of The Air. A surprise request to aid in a rescue of a previous opponent enthuses her belief  to the point of dragging (in Arketre’s case, literally) the other two off to confront these Lords. This pitches the trio into or back again across the complex relationships between groups within the Oakhostian empire and those dwelling beyond the World Physical. The three women must face, individually, in pairs or together conflicts, avoiding conflicts and demands of duty while struggling to hold fast to their own personal ties. Seemingly ever fated never to start anything but constantly to be drawn in; their skills, judgements and courage are constantly tested at a juncture which threatens to tear beyond one empire into other entireties, as some dare to believe they can control not only events but the evasive elements of The Ethereal. Conceits which neither Arketre, Karlyn or Trelli subscribe to, nor intend to leave flourish.

(Not blurb just additional information: The Battle for Yermetz takes some of its influences from German/Italian/Romanian/Hungarian conflict with the USSR at The Battle of Stalingrad in 1942/43)

That’s it folks

The Sheer Joy of Achievement (A trilogy is completed)

Nearly one year ago I posted up that Part III of the Precipice Dominions, being Daughters of Circumstances. Arbiters of Consequences’ initial draft had been completed and the fun part of editing, re-writing and so forth would be begin. When the volume is around 250,000 words this tends to encourage the urge to make sure everything melds together and continuity of the previous volumes Of Patchwork Warriors and Our Skirmishers of Lace, Steel and Fire runs smoothly. Since neither had sold well, there was the luxury of yet another re-edit of those works. Thus the past year has been an epic of not just rooting out persistent typos, but straightening syntax and a modest adjustment here and there. In addition along came the bonus of having tremendous fun in two less than serious marketing campaigns:

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The team conference)

There was some worrying or to be precise reflection over the length. Though in setting out a backdrop which involved several seemingly separate conflicts; being military, political and one of obligation which actually all overlay and interlock; to give each their fair due the narrative would have to be long. I also have this need (Flaw? Some might say) to go into depth on how events and their own subsequent actions affect a character; this comes from reading much military history; some of my writing is thus a dedication to those who have been there at ‘The Sharp End’. Having worked in the UK Civil Service for most of my life there was also the need to illustrate some of the complexities, frictions and downright follies which go on. Combining personal experience with reading military history convinced me there are no perfect or cunning plans by a villain or group of villains which nearly go right. A great number of the decisions are made on the hoof as it were. Hence witness blundering, hasty reactions, indecision and being wrong-footed by the unexpected. Heroics combined with astute tactics and strategies are valuable, but for them to work they require the foe to display error and sometimes stupidity which must be seized upon. 

In these days of worrying news and illustrations that the ‘bad guys’ do not get their neatly served up just deserts, something which is common in fiction too, there was a tendency to kick back. My intention was for the reader to enjoy the journey (a lot of differing ‘scenery’ out there folks)  and indulge the feel-good factors…… Which didn’t stop me stretching credibility, after all this is a Fantasy Novel with many different things happening in the greater environment; reading cosmology and trying to understand the basics of quantum mechanics / physics while including spirituality and some might say nods to ‘Gaia’ tended to also add to the mix.

A mash-up some might accuse me of. A Complete hodgepodge of themes untidily mixed together. A wandering series of confused elements.  My response is a shrug and to reply ‘Have to you looked around the messy world, read the confusions recorded in history and seen the questions arising in the sciences these days? Arguably these books are as close to A Reality as anything out there in your world,’  

And, so there it is:

The Gilrs in Yermetz in Finality   

Sometime in the next week there will be an announcement of the launch on Kindle….a few days free of course. Now all that’s left on My List being:

The blurb

Worrying whether Amazon will upload the whole lot.

And musing on how to correctly and seriously interest folks in the whole trilogy. For this Volume would be a hard slog, if not incomprehensible without reading the previous two. Therefore there will be another post giving an Overview of the entire Trilogy; intentions, themes and commentary on the narrative.   

About 5 to 6 years reaching this point. And I admit to feeling very durn good about the whole business. Sales would be nice, but ‘High Holy‘ (as they say in the books) seeing the project completed and out there….well, Satisfied and Content don’t come close.

Just an Opinion, (of course)

Stop Smoking

Stop Smoking with Allen Carr

You will excuse me, but in relation to the title, it would seem, to me, that is, the solution is an obvious one.

A simple and polite refusal to join in this controversial although still social habit, irrespective of who is inviting you. Why you need instruction in the form of an entire CD escapes me.

In addition the title suggests a certain element of victimisation. Why should you refuse to share this social interaction with this one particular person? The idea of groups of folk stalwartly announcing this intention seems rather unsettling.

I can’t help but feel The Mass Media is at fault here.

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The Wind-Up)

Pondering one Did you see how the major characters tided up last week’s post?

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The Plagiarism Approach)

worried-man (2)

I did indeed….Spectacular. I almost felt optimistic, had to go and lie down.

furtive-1Yeah…Awesome…I mean, like we’re not going to try do anything ..Y’know???

Puzzled Yeah… I mean like all the other efforts have been so…..what’re the words I’m looking for?

Wives and lovers woman clothedNot ones I’d want you to use in front of my two daughters.

Cautious 2 Wait! Wait I have this brilliant idea.

Impatient fellowSo do I. It’s called ‘Quitting While You’re Ahead’ 

Doffing a hatWell said my dear sir. Thus ladies and gentlemen we leave you with this reminder.

The Precipice Dominions

Idiot man 2Amazon Kindle @ 0.99

Ok…We’re done. See you around folks………Yes, dignity at all times.

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The Plagiarism Approach)

Skirmishers

shy-man-partyI looked at the Kindle Report page……Sales…….umm less than the first primary number….

As did we……..Oh…….oh….That this too solid flesh…….wouldst ……..melt

Pondering oneNo….I don’t think the tragi-comic-self-referential ploy is going to work, we’ve done it once, and like I said at the time with Dostoyevsky references it might have worked better.

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Comic Tragedy Approach 

Shakespeare 1 I wouldst suggest; the Bard. For have you not already allowed a quote in the opening sequence? Everyone is aware of some Shakespearean  hex-tracts. T’would resonate.  

Existential crisisAhhh, yessss. TOOOOOO, BEEEEEE or NOT tooo BEEEEE…… THAT is the…….question????

We’ll let you know

Writer 2Well, here’s one that occurred to me. 

Skirmishers

Romeo and Juliet Balcony (2)But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Our Skirmishers of Lace, Steel and Fire is the sun

enthusiasticIt’s cookin’ I tell ya!!

Pondering twoI don’t suppose they’d go with adapting The Prince of Verona’s last tines…. “For never was a story of more woe than this thy hapless marketing show” 

Whimsey 6Hmmmmm…..Maybe another of THE BARD’S works might be more…..shall we say…amenable to the project.

enthusiastic 2

You got it chuckles!!

                                                                                              Chuckles!…I love it

Plot Image 1This is a winner!

richardiii-1A book! A BOOK!! My kingdom for A….. BBohook!!

Do not worry

Do not fret

Here’s a choice, you’ll not regret.

Available on Amazon Kindle at 0.99   

Pondering oneThey got the link OK. I’ll give them that. I’d still go with Dostoevsky though.

shy-man-partyAye, “To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s.”…..I think we could use that

Pondering oneSee what I mean. You got to go with Dignified Irony….Anyway let’s quit while we’re ahead for the day. Raya and the Last Dragon ok with you? 

shy-man-partyThere is a form of dignity there.

 

Arketre On The Prowl screenshot (2)Ya’ll have to admire the persistence though…. I mean, yeah Stupid… but still kinda admirable.

Karlyn on the road (2)That’s true Flaxi, I kinda see wot they was tryin’ and if you’re not tryin’ to seriously sell stuff it’s a bit of fun. And since they are books about us anyhow, we should have a say….. See, like this…..Ahem…

“Now can the grumbly winter of your discontent at ol’ books 
Made glorious summer by these exciting volumes

The Precipice Dominions 
An’ all the clouds that low’r’d upon your moods
In the deep bosom of the ocean Kindle be buried”.

Aww, was fun…! Go on Whychie (That’s ‘Trelli ‘to you readers!) you give it a try

Trelli At Ease screenshot (3)…. Alright then, otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it:…….(deep breath)…

“The quality of writing should not be force(d)
It should floweth as the small stream through the glade
Upon its happy way. It is twice blessed:
It blesseth them that writeth and those that do read
‘Tis fayre in its modesty. Yet becomes
The impressive volumes The Precipice Dominions when written for their own sake.”
 
Yes, ok…That was a bit of a giggle. You’re turn now Arketre. Otherwise it won’t balance properly… 
 
Arketre on Leave (2). Since you two are set on us being so singular; here’s mine then
 
“Writers, readers and easy-goers, gimme some time yeah?
I’ve come to tell you about these books, but not to sell them, right?
The intensity in some stories really holds many folk.
While the casual, feel good is also worth a read 
So let it be with the Precipice Dominions series.  

Right, we’re done………………..You take care, then…………..And we’ll be seeing you

(Chorus)……………BECAUSE THERE’S ONE MORE VOLUME TO COME !!! 

.Masterful Delivery, I tip my hat…………………Yes, they saved it. Could get sales. 

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The Low-Key Approach)

SkirmishersThe Book

haughty response 2 The author has declined to appear for this post; he says he may not appear ever again; which may, arguably be a wise move. That said the team….. Well to be frank a certain selection of the team who have a more realistic view of the world and didn’t inform the others decided on this approach.

Doffing a hatThere we are m’dear. Nothing to be worried about, just say what comes in your head.

Impatient fellowYeah you bozos listen up. Ok, this is not how I would have done it. But you give the girl some space here. Or you’ll be speaking with the Knuckles Brothers.

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprised Heck, I don’t know how I got caught up in this; that’s one of the things about surfing the net, you never know. Anyway, since I’m here. This book, Vol II of what’s called The Precipice Dominions which I guess is allegorical. Y’know like the state of the nations and folks in the books, all wired up and on the edge with their plots, plans and ‘stuff’ you get in Fantasy Novels.

So the sometimes cute, sometimes deadly couple Arketre and Karlyn are making the best of The Sweet Life up in some faraway place called Terasonia’ cause they know sooner or later ‘stuff’ is going to happen. Trelli is being taught how to use her powers by some girls in this Libratery place (think of nuns, but not like the Sound of Music, and a lil’ bit like those weird women in Dune whose names I can’t remember ). Then A & K are sent off to see what they can make out of a sort of rebellion against the local prince, while Trelli gets despatched with a long beautiful & snooty called Coltello and some escorts to do something which didn’t make sense to me in another faraway place, called Fenshan. Then there’s all sorts of mini-adventures with Trelli turning up like a faux-ghost to rescue A & K from “The Dark Side”  that’s got into them.

After that Karlyn goes off one of those freaky path ways she uses to help Trelli with her task, and Arketre having been promoted to officer starts throwing military intimidation around in all directions. This is when things get all complex, because some renegades from that even more far off Shadow Lords realm invade. And this is the good thing, unlike most books they  don’t get to slay hundreds of locals until only our heroes are left with magic doo-hickies; the girls are just part of the army. Some guy I know who reads military histories says its also all allegorical (I like that word; I’m gonna use it a lot at coffee breaks) to do with other wars, but I switched off after he started on his fourth example.

Anyway, the girls do well. Trelli swings that power of hers about, keeps her cool and gets ‘lucky’ (y’know…. I mean lllluckieeee!). We get some of Karlyn’s back story which is fun because she gets dual identity; her usual kooky self, and sometimes all regal, and imperious, like in one of those historical dramas. And Arketre goes action mode and kinda edgy.  Impatient fellow I like that girl!!

Y’know it’s no spoiler to say it works out, because by now you should know that’s what the writer is all about. There’s a bit at the end which is really funny, in a way which is sweet, and a take on how men still see us girls but A & K use to their advantage. 

There’s lots of other things going on with other characters which I guess Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprised leads into the next volume, so you might want to get a notebook out to remind yourself of who is doing what, where, when and why for future reference. 

Although, it’s like 200,000 words and lot going on, it’s not a bad read. Even if Fantasy is not your thing, despite some gory bits it’s a kinda light. Not Game of Thrones, and my boy-friend says ‘Joe Abercrombie; it’s not’  he reads a lot of Fantasy so make of that what you will. So for 0.99 whatevers; y’know.

anger-clipart-rage-2 Too many women having there own way! Naah that won’t do! If you ask me…..

Wives and lovers woman clothed

WE AN’T!!

worried-manI’ve never seen a man so out of shape move so fast….

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprised(I was warned something like this might happen) Anyway. Like I was about to say. It’s on Kindle Amazon, and it’s free for the rest of Friday then it’s 0.99

And that’s about all we have to say on it. OK?

Re-Launch

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The team conference)

victorian-mens-costumes-2Well that’s was rather restrained. In an trans- Atlantic sort of way, wouldn’t you say Chumbleigh-Smythe?……. Oh quite so old chap. Mind you 200,000 words, that’s rather large book…I say haven’t you heard about these Thimbles they can put books on? Dashed clever…… I think Fotherington-Jones you might mean a Kindle…….Kindle Harrington-Carruthers? What sort of word is that???…..Oh it’s something to Americans dreamed up…… Hmmm how very curious…..Now what were we talking about?…..Where to go for lunch I think…Good idea. 

Pondering oneI saw worse on the last marketing run. The girl saved it……again.

Just for Marketing and Giggles II (The team conference)

Skirmishers

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_Pro OK guys. It’s out there I know this can’t be avoided. How are we going to handle this one?

shy-man-partyLeave well alone and unto the whims of the free-sales campaign? I feel there is more dignity in the simple nobility of the effort of writing and then saying ‘Ah this now belongs to The Ages’

Impatient fellow. Are you kiddin’? We gotta go hard and aggressive. We gotta get these books out there. We gotta grab the public’s attention by da scruff  of its neck. We gotta shake ’em loose from their tired ways, an’ tell ’em to stop their weak ass’d ways of just following what’s trending or best selling. We gotta make ’em think an’ try something new. We gotta…..

Pondering oneYou do realise this author and his advisor are British don’t you?

Impatient fellowWell, can I smack him in the mouth then for being such a self-effacing whimp ?

Wives and lovers woman clothedNo cuz’. We’d had this talk before. He’s kinda harmless an’ means well. Now go back to arguing with Covid-Conspiracy types. You enjoy that. Ok guys back to your sorta marketing.

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_Pro  Thank you

enthusiastic 3How about this? It’s a winner I tell ya!

. Ohhhhhh,

Buy the book

Buy the book,

You’ll enjoy it.

Take a look

Cautious 2It has a certain…….quality?

PuzzledYeah, that’s a polite way of putting it

This meeting is declared adjourned!!

pogo.stick. 2Well I must get my copy now!

Gee. Is it gonna work?………………………………….Only in the world the book is set.

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Comic Tragedy Approach

shy-man-partyThere will be scenes and commentaries which some readers may find disturbing, even offensive. Although to be fair there is something of a nascent allegory to certain themes within the volume which has given rise to these marketing ventures. I would also like to go on record as stating I had nothing to do with this post and even counselled against it…. Oh dear……oh dear.   

Laughing GuyYes folks with each copy of Of Patchwork Warriors

You get a free course of pogo-stick lessons

Impatient fellowWow! That’s a great idea. Why don’t you come into my office and we can discuss it in more detail.

punched laughing-guy (2)Duhhhh…hurr…hurrrrr…I’m goin’ ‘ome…duhhhhh…..hur-hur.

Well, we’d love to help out but we’re off to Oshkagoodle to help publicise the annual Oshkagoodle Lychee Fruit Workshop Festiva

Yeaaaa Team Lychee!!!

Impatient fellowNaaah, there’s no joy to smacking such folk, they are already in their own painful world of existential denial….. OK Sis’ over to you.

Haughty response 4Oh great here comes Ms Blue Collar again

Wives and lovers exasperated-11451246

Yeah, like one way-ticket to Cliché Central

Wives and lovers woman clothedHi honey. Sorry to Skype in on you like this. Just to let you know I’ll be a bit late home tonight. Plumbing job. Anyway tell the girls they can watch Frozen II again, and they have to phone their Aunty Jane to wish her fiancé Sandra a Happy Birthday…OK…love you man of mine…Oh nearly forget would you be a sweetie and contact Professor Williams and tell him I’ve given it a lot of thought but I won’t be taken up the Lectureship on 16th Century Literature in Europe. Bye..darling……

Hi Ladies…….

That was mean!…..

Yeah!

You’re-you’re just so lucky we lost out phones in there otherwise we would twitter something…

Yeah!….

We’ve had enough, we’re off to Oshkagoodle to sneer at Lychees…..

Yeah! 

Ah sometimes ya just gotta clear out the dead wood 

FX Twang

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprisedOh….. It’s gone all quiet… Well I guess that just leaves me…Ummmm… There’s this book. Of Patchwork Warriors 

And it’s one of those Fantasy sorts. There’s these three young women, a soldier, a kinda wacky traveller, and a housemaid, now she gets stuck with these…powers I guess… and the other two are hunting her, because they have to, y’see. Anyway, they all get together and bond, and have adventures beating up bad guys. And sort of grow in experience, stature and stuff like that. The wacky one and the soldier fall in love which is sorta sweet, and the housemaid becomes really powerful, brave, determined and respected. So it ends well, but it’s part one, of a trilogy….forgot to mention that . There are a few laughs, adult situations and girls talking, y’know girl-talk. And there are lots of other folk doing sneaky back ground things, but like I said it works out, OK…all upbeat. And costs 0.99 on Amazon Kindle.      Was that OK?

Thank you……..WIN_20201130_14_37_57_ProI wish I’d asked you to do this in the first place.

Melodrama“Comedies are fit for common wits:
But to present a kingly troop withal,
Give me a stately-written tragedy;
Tragadia cothurnata, fitting kings,
Containing matter, and not common things.”

Vintage engraving of a victorian era professor or schoolmaster reading a book.

Ah a quote from Kydd’s Spanish Tragedy …… How very apt.

Pondering one I’d have gone from something out of Dostoevsky, but I guess that works.  

worried-manThat’s all folks!…Good night!

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