Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Advertising (Emotional Appeal ploy) Approach

Hey man. Wow!…….There’s Stuff                 Please I do not want to know about Stuff

What sort of…. ‘Stuff’? Oh like book………………………………….. Stuff

Pompus Oh…that means reading. I can’t be bothered. I shall wait until a suitably prestigious literary critic writes a review before I form an opinion on this….Stuff    

Impatient fellow

If they don’t come clean about what this…..’Stuff’ is. There will be some Big Smacks in The Mouth….Stuff.

haughty response 2

Please do not be vexed so. It’s simply a book about three young women cast into an adventure in a Fantasy realm. They bond, they hit lots of villains and beasts, and kill some in the process, they bond further, grow in stature and survive having saved some part of the world. Those fellows are all trying to avoid being caught out making inadvertently controversial comments, and thus shamed, cancelled or whatever else worries people on the internet. Me, I’m independently wealthy, in a small way, have no idea how to work Twotter or Instagrum and being of late middle age can still remember the pre-computer days….So I don’t care. Now if you excuse me I have to go and ask my wife how to work Voice-Hale.

I’m still gonna give one of those jerks a Biggggg slap inna mouth……… But not me. I don’t know nothin’ !! I’m just in charge of stationary requirements (and the coffee machine)

How dreadfully and chaotically vulgar, also one has to say a trifle obscure. If everyone simply purchased a copy of this volume and opted not to comment on any very common social media site, then we would be spared these most undignified situations. It only costs 0.99 as well. Seems the obvious solution, if you ask me.

worried-manActually he has a good point; for a while there I was worried we were heading for a pastiche of  in play in the style of The Theatre of the Absurd.

writer-2Well, I’m fearfully glad I have a copy, and it’s perfectly readable on my all-weather Kindle, (with the model 6/10 Alpha Stylus)

Pondering one This whole thing may be working, someone bought a copy on the 20th Feb. 3 whole copies to date. Hmmmmm

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Good O Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Focus Group Approach

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Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Focus Group Approach

Happy Dance 1goofy-girls-printsHappy

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprisedOk I’ve visited this screwy site before. What the hell is going on now?

Idiot man 2Oh fair maid. Have you not heard the gladsome news? Copies of Of Patchwork Warriors have been sold (ed). And that is the Marketing Team doing their celebratory dance.

Plot Image 1

Sales! It’s time to organise a Focus Group for the next Marketing Campaign

Barker 2It’s being organised! Get a chance to air your views on an issue of The Day…Step this way folks. Step this way 

Freinds Romans Countrymen

Melodrama…Layyyydeeez and Gentle-MEN. You are asked(ed) to discuss THE weighty matter of this TOME before...you.

Of Patchwork Warriors….Available on Kindle…..

WHAT is YOUR general O…pin…nee-onn?

Puzzled expression…Ehhhh..It’s a book…And it’s ’bout three girls and it’s got lotsa words. Ders no pictures though. I thought if it wuz ’bout girls it should be a comic book, so we can see what they’s wearin’. Y’know.

famous-writers-of-the-victorian-era-1 Awww. I mean that’s like a load man! Y’know. I mean it’s all about the narrative, dude, which is basically an elevated intrinsic examination of the journey undertaken by the soul. I mean, like you don’t need pictures man. None of that postmodernism crap, neither. You know what I’m talkin’ about there man.

victorian-mens-costumes-2

Fearfully contrived if you ask me? What say you Carruthers?

Long John Silver

Contrived ye say? Do ye? Ye insult a fellow with a wooden leg would ye*? By the time I’m finished with ye. Ye’ll be only fit for Davy Jones’ cabin boys..Arr-Harrr!!

  • haughty response 2* This colourful fellow above is referencing Captain Dekyria…Arketre Beritt’s commander and mentor.

Sarcastic gifOh please! Like it’s a book whose central characters are women and you’ve got male yo-yos leading on Focus? Gimme a break.

Sinsiter WomenHearts of gold and inseparable friends. How very dull…..But they did massacre some men…..Yes but those were so second-rate villains, I mean talk about target practice.  

anger-clipart-rage-2Naw! It wuz irritating. All these women being clever and brave! It’s not like that in real life. You gotta wise up! It’s all wrong giving women all these role models roles! Ya…..

Wives and lovers woman clothed  It’s ok sisters I stuffed his head down the john and slammed the seat on his neck….he’ll be there for a while…..Carry on, girls.

SurfingYes…It’s quite nice…I think it’s a bit of a sleeper. Low-key marketing is the best ploy (I’m gonna steal the plot and get it up and out there! He knows ‘jack’ about social media networking,)

 

Of Patchwork Warriorsenthusiastic 2O-M-G!!

Wives and lovers woman clothedAnnddd lil’ Miss Clickbait is next.

RageWhy did the blonde haired one end up having the nick-name ‘Flaxi’. If it gets to be a best seller, it’s what all the jerks in the office are  going to start calling me.

Haughty response 4Yeah….Frankly……Like that’s gonna happen.

haughty responseDid you know about this?

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No…And I was so happy with the two sales. 

Whimsey 1Fear not good sir…I shall sally forth with the news of this tome…..See how I do fly to the crowds….

Whimsey 1 otherwayOr were they this way?….

CromwellDissolvingLongParliamentWell thanks for your input folks….the Focus Group is now closed.

Wives and lovers woman clothedAnyone else you want me to use as a sink plunger?

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_ProAt your own discretion thank you. If anybody wants me I’ll be under the kitchen table.

fed_up_woman-620x412I warned him. Lord knows I’ve warned him. How many times, did I warn him. Don’t market.

BarkerCome, come m’dear. There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Oh by the way I seemed to have misplaced an associate of mine – here’s her picture enthusiastic 2

Wives and lovers woman clothedOh yeah….I saw her….. Asked me to pass a message on. She thinks Marketing and Publicity isn’t for her….She’s taking up a trade in plumbing.  

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

 

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The Good Ol’ Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles -The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Vaudevillian Cross-Talk Approach

Scene: A street. First fellow enters from stage right, reading a Kindle. Second fellow enters stage left, not really looking where he is going. They collide. The following dialogue arose with two American males in mind but could be anywhere… (Chose your own location, dialect and colloquiums)

Second Fellow: Hey! Why don’t ya look where you’re going?

First Fellow: Looking at your mug, I don’t see the advantage in that policy! 

Two guys arguing

Second Fellow: Oh, a wise-mouth! What a pity it’s not connected to your brain.

First Fellow: Well I’m the one with the book…reading

Second Fellow: That don’t prove much. I got a five year old nephew who can read.

First Fellow: He must be of great help to you then!

Second Fellow: His conversation is certainly more interesting. So what’s the book about?

First Fellow: I can’t see the point in telling a guy like you about the contents of a book, but because I’m feeling generous- It’s a Fantasy Novel.

Second Fellow: Y’mean it’s about The Miami Dolphins winning the Superbowl?

First Fellow: It’s lucky for you I’m a New York Jets fan.

Second Fellow: Yeah. Lucky ’cause it an’t contagious.

First Fellow: I only hope whatever you got an’t catching. But to elaborate, this book is about these three girls….

Second Fellow: Oh…It’s that sort of Fantasy Book! I might have known. I can tell, the way you’re turning your head away in shame.

First Fellow: That an’t shame. That’s me looking for your mind in the gutter, which considering the smallness of the object, is a hard task!

Second Fellow: The only hard task I can see, is getting you to talk sense. At the risk of frying your brain, what is the plot?

First Fellow: Like I was saying. These three girls. Well they inadvertently have to battle evil powers, but they choose to ignore authority and do things their own way.

Second Fellow: Wow! That sounds like home. I have a wife and two teenage daughters.

First Fellow: Ha! You too. That’s why I was reading the book. I was looking for a solution to the dilemma.

Second Fellow: In my opinion; there an’t none. Gee no wonder we’re a pair of soreheads.

First Fellow: We should repair to the nearest bar and commiserate. To make things worse I gotta brother-in-law too.

Second Fellow: What an unhappy coincidence, so have I. I guess they call them ‘in-law’ because that’s the only way you tolerate them, it’s illegal not too. So what about the book?

The two fellows look at the cover, skimming the contents.

Of Patchwork Warriors

Second Fellow: Hey! Look at that part. That blonde soldier. Wow! Has she got notches on her belt.

First Fellow: I never say that coming. Must be what they call a sub-text. If the household saw this I would be in a lot of trouble. 

Second Fellow: An’t you afraid of being caught out?

First Fellow: Nah. It’s my brother-in-law’s Kindle.

Second Fellow: Now that’s sharp thinking. For that I’ll buy the first round!

The two men exit hands on shoulders chatting.

(Dedicated to Jimmy ‘Shnozer’ Durante; W.C. Fields and Groucho Marx; even though I don’t come close) 

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles-; The Good Ol; Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

 

 

 

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Greek Tragedy Approach

shy-man-party

No sales. The last acceptance was on the 4th and that was free.

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_Pro

Aye, I know. Oft have I walked these desolate roads, with naught but the chill winds of The Realty of Low Profile to accompany me. Ah, who cans’t I blame but myself for this fate?

Pondering oneMaybe it’s time you did the unthinkable and sent it off to an agent or publisher? Just saying. Y’know?

Nay, nay and thrice NAY! For they would not understand the many nuances and sub-text and would pour ignorant scorn upon the workHamlet 2

Vintage engraving of a victorian era professor or schoolmaster reading a book.

It would seem to me your approaches are either very plebeian or shockingly drenched in self-indulgence. I would suggest a Classical Theme be given to this venture. Underscore the Tragedy of the entire enterprise, in viewing, quite frankly the folly of the whole enterprise the audience would be curious as to the nature of this work and thus one…or …two may be inclined to purchase a copy. The obvious choice would be the Greek playwrights such as Sophocles…..

Laughing Guy       

He’s gotta point ya’ know. I got just the set-up for you. First I give you the Greek Tragedy Chorus.

Electra and the Chorus bearing vessels for libation on the tomb of Agamemnon illustration from The Choephori by Aeschylus (c525-c456 BC) c1830-40 - (MeisterDrucke-161368)  . 

Oh woe. Oh woe. The sales are slow.

Oh woe. Oh woe. Why, we do not know.

Oh woe. Oh woe. Ashes we doth throw.

Oh woe. Oh woe. Oh woe.

Then the Maid of Tragedy  Electra:

Electra in Portrait

Thou hast said nothing unlooked-for; I well knew that thou wouldst reject what I proffered. Well! I must do this deed with mine own hand, and alone; for assuredly I will not leave it void.

Of Patchwork WarriorsOf Patchwork Warriors (Fourth Edition): (Being Vol.1 of the Precipice Dominions) eBook: Llewellyn, R J: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

 

Electra in Portrait

My resolve is not new, but long since fixed.         

                                                                Don’t you just love that girl and her cool quotes

Procession of the chorus - Scanned 1882 Engraving

 

Tragic. Yet heroic.

The fellow is very stoic

Let us hope he does not get choleric

WIN_20201130_14_37_57_ProI think we’ll just leave it to Vox Populi 

Vintage engraving of a victorian era professor or schoolmaster reading a book.

Wrong civilisation dear boy 

                                                                            An’t those dames sweet…Hoch-cha-cha

Unit2_Lesson2Just buy the blessed thing will you and make this all stop.

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Good Ol’ Hard Sell Approach.

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Good Ol’ Hard Sell Approach.

Yowza! Yowza! Folks! Barker

Gather around and let me brighten up your day with news of the release of this incredible piece of adventure, of action, of romance, and of daring-do. I give you…….

Of Patchwork Warriors

Of Patchwork Warriors (Fourth Edition): (Being Vol.1 of the Precipice Dominions) eBook: Llewellyn, R J: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

This literary effort five years in the making, by a fellow who is not ashamed to admit his mistakes but was dedicated enough to keep on until he was able to produce for the reading world…in my humble opinion……PERFECTION!! 

I tell ya, this may appear just another fantasy work, but folks I can attest to you here and now. You will gasp. You will twitch to be hurrying on the next page. You will laugh. You will cry. You will cheer on three of the most dogged, courageous, faithful young women ever to grace the page. 

An’t they adorable folks? Don’t you just wanna rush out at get your copy now? Read about this trio who an’t afraid of the world or to speak their minds. I tell ya, you will not want to put it down. Believe it or not my good lady wife 

Kinda busy now Frank

An’t she a Wow folks? ( that’s the way Francine- the ol’ chiggin’ routine gets them every time)……Anyway like I was sayin’ me an’ the missus we got so wound up in reading these adventures we didn’t watch TV, not for two whole nights! Can ya believe that Ladies an’ Gentlemen?…..Not just ONE, but TWO whole nights, I tell ya it’s that kinda book. I could go on longer, but I tell ya folks…..I gotta go back and read it ALL over again…And anyway who wants to hear some old guy go on…..So I’m gonna hand the whole show over to our lovely, our amazing, our bundle of energy……our wunnderful daughter Spark of Fire….. 

JILLIANA…!!!

enthusiastic 1

WHeeeeeeHEEEEEEEE! I wanna thank ya Dad lots an’ lots but I gotta tell the folk here about this superb book! Can you hear me out there? Show me your hands! I wanna see you hands! Lemme see those hands!… Alright-alright-alright. I gotta ask you folk. Do you wanna be predictable….NO ‘course you don’t. You wannna be seen doin’ the same-old-same-old other folk do?…NO! Like how many folk have read that Game of Thrones stuff…More to the point…Do I care?…Like…..NO!!….Listen here…I downloaded copy of ‘Of Patchwork Warriors’  and read the tome in public!…Why??? Because i wanted to show folk I had brain cells up here and individual working brain cells! Yeah folks, you all read critics reviews’, on the web, in the papers, professional or wannaebees and like they all about wanting there to be sadness and tragedy and bad folk getting the upper hand. Well I say I’ve had my fill of that! I want to see the little folk taking up the load, doing what has to be done and getting a goodness out of it, without my intelligence or integrity insulted! Right ladies? I mean forget all what they say about equality, it an’t there, but it is here. And men? Well if you got a real pair, then you aren’t worried about girls being your equals. Right? Come on guys prove me right. A man is a man who accepts women as equals… Right?

Yeah!!…………………………………………………..ALRIGHT!!!!

     That’s what I’m talking about folks. And that’s what this book is all about. It’s empowerment  people. Empowerment for girls to show they can take the weight. Empowerment for men to say ‘Sister. I salute you! Rock on!…..Yeah rock on!

And folks, in this book, the message is. It doesn’t matter who you are, how you were raised, what blood you come from, and who catches you eye, or your heart. It’s all about  being, striving…attaining and achieving!   

enthusiastic 3She’s Straight Fire man! 

And if anybody asked me ‘Hey Jillian. What you reading there?’ I’d raise up my hand and say ‘Sorry. I just have to see how this chapter ends. Then if you are lucky I’ll be able to haul myself away,’ And they’d say ‘Gosh Jillian it can’t be that good!’ and ‘I’d say. Your loss’ and just carry on reading!…Yeah I do!  I do!! 

And right now what I just have to say is….. I want to see your phones out there. I wanna see the Kindle App!!. I wanna see you downloading the book!!! And if your signal is bad right now, or you need to recharge your mobile soon, then I wanna read about your download on social media. I want you go out there and do it now! Do it! Do it!

Of Patchwork Warriors (Fourth Edition): (Being Vol.1 of the Precipice Dominions) eBook: Llewellyn, R J: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

 ………………………………………………………….O-M-G!!! I must download! NOW!!!

 

Meanwhile… a little later…

Pondering oneBe honest. Do you think it was wise to sign that marketing over? 

 

Oh my Lord. What have I done? ……….. I feel your mortification

Just for Marketing and Giggles- The British Approach

shy-man-party

I’m…here because the author didn’t think his picture would be advantageous. He and I would like firstly to apologise if we are taking up any of your time, or appearing to be fearfully vulgar and forward, but there’s this book he’s written…Well actually re-written and re-written and thinks he has it right…

Of Patchwork Warriors Of Patchwork Warriors (Fourth Edition): (Being Vol.1 of the Precipice Dominions) eBook: Llewellyn, R J: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

And as you can see, it is being sold on Amazon Kindle at 0.99 (in most currencies anyway)….

It’s one of those adventuresome Fantasy Books, which are so popular, only there’s not so much treachery and tragedy, and the central characters are quite nice, in so far as I can judge. I found Karlyn quite amusing.

And I have to go now…and do…something else, so I apologise if I have intruded on your time. Someone else will take over now.

williamterriss7-2  

In so far as this Fantasy Genre goes, well, I have to say, it has a certain charm, even if some of the humour was rather, shall we say, populist. Of course I wasn’t too sure about all those girls having so much of a say in the narrative, but there again ‘de rigueur’ as the saying goes. And of course it is very inexpensive, and this in itself begs the statement ‘What has one got to lose?’ (apart from 0.99 of course, but there again I received a free copy)Whimsey 6 I have to disagree with the flamboyant chap above. I thought the humour was rather classical British irony. Of course I doubt if this will travel well across the Atlantic. I also feel the book is far too optimistic and the characters excruciatingly pleasant (even that blonde haired girl was only brutal to those who deserved it), so it will certainly not do well in Britain. I fear it will be another well-meaning failure….as for selling at such a low price…..well that simply smacks of being vulgar. Shame really, there was potential there.

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprised     

I’m a bit confused here. Was that guy trying to help sell the book. These Brits are so oblique. Is it any good? Anyone????

haughty response 2Yes, of course m’dear. If you like to read about a bevy of young ladies running about the countryside getting up to all sorts of high jinks and beating the stuffing out of a load of rotters who get their just deserts. And there some’s..well y’know…And it’s only 0.99 

Wigran

Oh, go on. Give it a try. I’m in it. And it’s only 0.99

Wives and lovers exasperated-11451246

Yeah….like….I’m hooked already….These Brits. No wonder the best ones end up working for the Dollar.