Mar | 2021 | Writing Despite Computers and Programmes

shy-man-party There will be scenes and commentaries which some readers may find disturbing, even offensive. Although to be fair there is something of a nascent allegory to certain themes within the volume which has given rise to these marketing ventures. I would also like to go on record as stating I had nothing to do with this post and even counselled against it…. Oh dear……oh dear.

Laughing Guy Yes folks with each copy of Of Patchwork Warriors

You get a free course of pogo-stick lessons

Impatient fellow Wow! That’s a great idea. Why don’t you come into my office and we can discuss it in more detail.

punched laughing-guy (2) Duhhhh…hurr…hurrrrr…I’m goin’ ‘ome…duhhhhh…..hur-hur.

Well, we’d love to help out but we’re off to Oshkagoodle to help publicise the annual Oshkagoodle Lychee Fruit Workshop Festival

Yeaaaa Team Lychee!!!

Impatient fellow Naaah, there’s no joy to smacking such folk, they are already in their own painful world of existential denial….. OK Sis’ over to you.

Haughty response 4 Oh great here comes Ms Blue Collar again

Wives and lovers exasperated-11451246

Yeah, like one way-ticket to Cliché Central

Wives and lovers woman clothed Hi honey. Sorry to Skype in on you like this. Just to let you know I’ll be a bit late home tonight. Plumbing job. Anyway tell the girls they can watch Frozen II again, and they have to phone their Aunty Jane to wish her fiancé Sandra a Happy Birthday…OK…love you man of mine…Oh nearly forget would you be a sweetie and contact Professor Williams and tell him I’ve given it a lot of thought but I won’t be taken up the Lectureship on 16th Century Literature in Europe. Bye..darling……

Hi Ladies…….

woman-wet-black-background-girl-hair-rain-studio-wearing-white-shirt-92665066 (2)

That was mean!…..

Yeah!

You’re-you’re just so lucky we lost out phones in there otherwise we would twitter something…

Yeah!….

We’ve had enough, we’re off to Oshkagoodle to sneer at Lychees…..

Yeah!

Ah sometimes ya just gotta clear out the dead wood

FX Twang

Young woman, finger on lips, looking confused surprised Oh….. It’s gone all quiet… Well I guess that just leaves me…Ummmm… There’s this book. Of Patchwork Warriors

And it’s one of those Fantasy sorts. There’s these three young women, a soldier, a kinda wacky traveller, and a housemaid, now she gets stuck with these…powers I guess… and the other two are hunting her, because they have to, y’see. Anyway, they all get together and bond, and have adventures beating up bad guys. And sort of grow in experience, stature and stuff like that. The wacky one and the soldier fall in love which is sorta sweet, and the housemaid becomes really powerful, brave, determined and respected. So it ends well, but it’s part one, of a trilogy….forgot to mention that . There are a few laughs, adult situations and girls talking, y’know girl-talk. And there are lots of other folk doing sneaky back ground things, but like I said it works out, OK…all upbeat. And costs 0.99 on Amazon Kindle. Was that OK?

Thank you…….. WIN_20201130_14_37_57_Pro I wish I’d asked you to do this in the first place.

Melodrama “Comedies are fit for common wits:
But to present a kingly troop withal,
Give me a stately-written tragedy;
Tragadia cothurnata, fitting kings,
Containing matter, and not common things.”

Vintage engraving of a victorian era professor or schoolmaster reading a book.

Ah a quote from Kydd’s Spanish Tragedy …… How very apt.

Pondering one I’d have gone from something out of Dostoevsky, but I guess that works.

worried-man That’s all folks!…Good night!

Just for Marketing and Giggles -The Controversially Aggressive Approach

Just for Marketing and Giggles – The Advertising (Emotional Appeal ploy) Approach

Portrait Angry older man screaming on white background

WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH THE LOT OF YOU!!

Laughing Guy

You’re just gonna love this, aren’t you folks?

shy-man-party

Words fail me.

Portrait Angry older man screaming on white background

Listen to me willya! This book has been out for one month, there’s been a advertising campaign and still you an’t buying it!! WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE????? Ohhhhhhh I know what it’s all about. All those social media types with their Youth Orientation and what is ….’Trending’, so anyone who is not in the right profiles gets ignored. It’s just like what happens to me, Pete and Burt when we asked the Town Council if we could play our Kazoo renditioning of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ on the 4th July three years back, and they turned us down because it might have been seen as ‘disrespectful’……. HA!…Disrespectful! They just didn’t want three old guys strutting their stuff that’s all! And don’t think we haven’t noticed they have not replaced that old omnibus of Dick Tracy cartoons in the town library which they removed because ‘they’ said it was in need of repair….HA!! What AND happened to the ‘Smokey Stover’ collection???….They still won’t answer that question!! I tell ya, it’s a pretty sorry state when an ordinary guy who’s lived an ordinary life, not making a fuss or being on ‘Reality TV’ can’t get his book noticed…Just ‘because’. You take Burt, who spent ten years researching and writing up a three volume commentary on the History of Pot Roast and did anyone take it up? Did they…Huh? I mean, it’s POT ROAST for pity’s sakes, y’ can’t get more patriotic or basic roots of culture than POT ROAST!!! And then you can’t get anything controversial published unless you’re already well known or some sorta wacko that a bunch of TV executives found. Me an’ Pete collaborated on two volumes being critical of folk of high profile irrespective of politics, gender, race, religion or which baseball team they followed titled ‘And Here’s Another Idiot’ followed up by ‘It’s You Stupid Lot that Make Them Wealthy’. I mean how controversial can you get? But did anyone give us a sniff! Did they? Hah! Nnnnooo because in their eyes we were 70 year old nobodies, with no profile or ‘Twitter’ accounts! I tell ya, it’s The Living In A Stacked Deck scenario all over again!!!

Puzzled Err…Excuse me. But…err…What’s the book, and have you read it?

Doffing a hat

Oh I can help you there young lady.

Of Patchwork Warriors It’s on that Kindle device

Portrait Angry older man screaming on white background

I was gettin’ there! I was gettin’ there!!!

Just catching his breath…That’s all

Portrait Angry older man screaming on white background

I heard that Charlie Smerhoffer! You and your stupid easy going attitude! Well, let me tell you, when ‘they’ come and take away all those Short Story collection you read at the Library and replace them with ‘Controversial’ drivel written by any yahoo who’s got a PROFILE and a bank account inversely proportional to the size of their brain then don’t come moaning to me about it!!

Pondering two I’ve read all the posts on this topic and I’m still none the wiser.

Confused person on Brexit

Yeah, I printed them out and collected them in a binder. It still didn’t help.

Portrait Angry older man screaming on white background

THAT’S BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE BUYING AND READING THE BOOK!!!!

Vintage engraving of a victorian era professor or schoolmaster reading a book.

But you see, my dear sir, there is an inherent flaw in your argument. For surely the whole purpose of these whimsical marketing endeavours is to raise the profile of the work in question and thus encourage the individual to purchase a copy. Thus by your last statement you have created a contradiction in that, if a person were to purchase a copy of the said volume, then there would be no need to read the marketing. Ergo your previous comment is void of any substantial meaning.

Little girl sticking tongue out. PNG - JPG and vector EPS (infin